“Popcorn Porn”: What Happened to the Horror Movie Genre?

What the heck happened to the horror movie genre? Was it slashed to death by one of it’s own creations?

Apparently, it has. Since there hasn’t been a decent horror movie in quite some time, which had all of the elements for a good scare. Horror Movies have basically followed the same sad path as disco…it’s still around, but the years have definitely changed it.

Once upon a time, you would watch a scary movie, and amazingly, you’d be scared. Now, you find yourself sitting “quietly” in the audience, munching on handfuls of popcorn, and feeling somewhat disappointed when you leave the theater or turn the DVD off. Why is that? What happened? When did we all lose our internal censor which warned us that what we were watching could be hazardous to our health?

Two theories come to mind to answer this question:

One: That as a society, we have become jaded and desensitized to the horror that we watch in movies anymore. And who could really argue with that, after 9/11, anything in hockey mask, welding a maschette seems as scary as a baby with a dirty diaper.

And

Two: Horror movies have become merely “popcorn porn,” meaning that they are merely porns with all of the good stuff edited out–depending on the studios, these days (My Bloody Valentine 3-D is definitely not shy in the least)–and a better story-line. As if anyone ever really cared about a story-line in a porno.

Image via Wikipedia

Image via Wikipedia

There seems to be a universal truth to the fact that everyone loves to be scared, as long as they can control the cause of their fear (i.e. movies), but it almost seems that we’ve become addicted to these movies that we are at the point where it’s never enough. And that’s the truly scary fact! What does it say about our society–and youth!–if watching a graphic, intense movie in which a woman is being raped and skinned alive is merely a cause for a yawn? It almost supports the old-school belief that horror movies create serial killers. Since you have to ask yourself, “if this doesn’t scare them, what will?”

But, unfortunately, most of the blame for this sad situation, rests on the shoulders of the studios and screenwriters. There are several reasons why, but I’d like to address the main ones.

1. STOP with the REMAKES! If we’re not scared of the original, what makes you think that we’re going to be scared now, just because it might have younger actors, the story-line has been mutilated from the treasure that it had once been, and the soundtrack has more MTV familiar songs. Yes, let’s get right down to it…they say “Those who can’t do, teach.” Well, I say, “those who can’t come up with original stories, offer to write remakes!”
2. Sex may be a selling point for a horror movie, but for crying out loud, why should we care if the protagonists get it on or not? Does it really matter? Some of the most famous horror movies never shown one scene of sex, and they scared people for years–and in many cases, still do! (i.e. Psycho, Poltergeist, Night of the Living Dead, etc.)
3. Predictability is so tired. We’re sick of knowing how the movie is going to end, halfway through. Of course the hero is going to win, and walk away with the girl. Or, in many cases, the heroine is going to stumble out of the darkness, to fight another day. And please, please, please, please could there be ONE horror movie where the heroine is running and DOESN’T fall down? Is that asking too much, or is there some commandment that says, “Thou shall fall down when being chased by killer/monster.”
4. Story-lines are completely gone from horror movies. Because, you know, a book that doesn’t tell a story is what we call a “catalogue.” Whatever happened to the principle that the story should be the scary element, instead of the killer/creature? Think about every Stephen King movie…it was made because of a great story, not because of who starred in it.

When you take into consideration the current state of horror movies, it’s no wonder why we walk away feeling let down and unimpressed. We’ve just spent an hour-and-a-half watching a “Popcorn Porn.” Because in the end, both genres are the same: Bad acting, bad sex, vague story-lines, and weird music.

Pass the bucket…