Musing as I Watch Twilight

Ah, it’s been a long day – I was in clinic all day treating everyone from toddlers to grandpas and now I can finally crash and sleep. So until I finally drift into the land of nod, I’m curled up in my pyjamas watching twilight and snuggling my teddy bear. Usually I write top quality, well researched articles but tonight I figure I’ll just post this – if anyone comes to this page, they don’t actually have to read all this, I’ll get my tenth of a cent anyway. So feel free to navigate away from this page right now – don’t worry, I won’t be offended. Seriously, go find some porn or something.

Ah, my media player is screwing up and dislodging the audio from the video! Darn, and a sexy scene is coming on! Mm, how I love that coppery haired vampire… maybe I’ll dress my boyfriend up as Edward Cullins tomorrow night – is that weird? I’m sure that all the pre-pubescent fan-girls who love twilight would do it if they had boyfriends. Oh by the way what is up with little kids growing up so fast? I don’t like it – I still act like a dope as often as I can to retain some of that childhood naivete but kids are so eager to grow – jeez, enjoy not having to work or study while you still can! Also I kinda resent jail bait that’s hotter than I am…

Aw, Bella’s pretty. I wish I had pretty long hair like that – my hair is naturally fine and can never seem to get past my shoulders. How do people feel about hair extensions? It kinda seems like a lot of effort, and I think it’d feel weird to people stroking your head… which I really like. Also it kinda seems like wearing a wig, which is a little too 40 year old comb-over for my liking. All those girls on America’s next top model have it going on, but I don’t really feel comfortable saying that those people are a good example of anything… Ah, I’m just prejudiced – I believe in studying and gaining knowledge. I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who believe just as strongly that physical perfection is a worthy goal. He he, well it works for the Cullins family…

Get to the sexiness already! This movie is like the ultimate tease, the characters are way too hot and there’s not nearly enough hooking up! Wow, I love that song playing when Edward and Bella rock up to school together and he’s wearing those ridiculous sunglasses. It’s getting cold, I think I’m going to schnoozle soon – that’s going to be a spelling error right there… it’s a shame that Rosalie isn’t hotter in the movie, I had high hopes.

You know who made a hot werewolf? That guy Lucien in the first underworld movie, he was sweet. Actually most of that cast were adorable. I think Wentworth Miller was in it too for like 5 minutes as a med student or something. Damn he’s adorable in prison break, I can’t wait to watch the last episode! OK I’m falling asleep so I’m going to give up on this and go dream about adorable vampires with less self restraint than in the movie/books

If you’ve made it this far, I’ve either got to admire your determination or be very sad that you don’t have better things to do… now go find that porn, I’m sleeping.