Friday the 13th 1980: The Best Horror Movie Ever Made

This movie is my all time favorite horror movie EVER. It was one of the first of the slasher genre that all the others wanted to be but most never quite lived up to. No matter how good a horror film is there are ALWAYS those nagging questions you ask yourself or that you think about after you have seen the movie so in this review are a few of the obvious, that none the less diminishes this TRUE CLASSIC.The setting itself doesn’t seem to scary, right? Well think about it this way. This camp was 20 MILES from town in the woods, and the road to the camp was 10 miles from the crossroads where you might be able to flag down a car if you are lucky. There was a crazy man named Ralph that peddled 20 miles to the camp to warn you to leave before you died, but did you? NO. People told you in town that they called this place “Camp Blood” but did you go home? NO. They also told you that 2 counselors were murdered there in 1958 but did you go home? NO. There were also numerous fires and the water was poisoned and nobody ever knew who did it or why, not to mention they NEVER CAUGHT THE KILLER of the COUNSELORS..HELLO??? OK we have achieved the scary portion of the story.

The snake in the cabin would have sent me down the road as fast as I could have gone. Unaware that they are being watched the entire time they go about doing chores, but mostly eating and swimming (they could have drowned from cramps) but that wouldn’t have been as dramatic or hell as much FUN as what was to come.

What ensues is murder and truly brilliant effects by Tom Savini.Jack and Marcie make love in the bottom bunk as the storm rages outside as the camera pans up low and behold there is poor Ned lying in the top bunk dead eyes staring blankly and his throat slit from ear to ear, but the couple are blissfully unaware or this. After they have finished Marcie decides that she has to go to the bathroom, which is no less in the bathroom cabin across the camp, in this TORRENTIAL RAIN STORM and ALONE. I think not. I would have found a bucket in the corner to make due till morning or the VERY least Jack would have brought his lazy ass with me.As jack lays there in his afterglow and fires up a joint, a drop of blood plops on his forehead as he looks up to see the source and hand comes out from under the bed pinning his head to the pillow and the other hand rams an arrow through the bed and out of his throat a TRULY spectacular death as blood spurts out ad the arrow twists.Marcie all alone in the bathroom cabin is unaware that the killer has now entered where she is. As she looks into the mirror and channels Katherine Hepburn noises begin to start in the DARK END OF THE ROOM… so does she do the logical thing and run out the door? NO. She goes to investigate. People IF YOU HEAR A NOISE DON’T GO INVESTIGATE. Well she does anyway and as she snatches back the shower curtains she fails to see the shadow of an axe being raised and as she turns around it smashes right into her face another TRULY glorious death scene.

After the blood starts to flow only 2 counselors remain intact. Alice and Bill. They go to look for their friends only to find a bloody axe in one of their beds. This would have sent me hiking my happy ass the 20 miles back to town but did these 2. NO. The phone is dead and so is the truck, but lets go back to the cabin and wait to Steve the owner to return, there’s a logical explanation for all this. (Yeah dumb ass there is a psychopath running around playing Kill The Counselors). Well next thing you know the LIGHTS GO OUT. When this happens do you go to find out why? HELL NO!! Bill tells Alice he is going to go check this out and for her to stay there and sleep. Um excuse me but your friends are missing, the phone is dead so is the truck and THERE WAS A BLOODY AXE IN THE BED!!!! Would you be staying anywhere alone? NO.

Sure enough Bill doesn’t come back and Alice has to schlep through the mud to find his ass and find him she does !! Pinned up on the door of the generator shed with arrows in his eye, throat, heart and CROTCH and his throat slit wide open (personally i think the arrow to the crotch was punishment enough) as Alice becomes hysterical and runs back into the cabin instead of hiking her ass back to town ( I would still be RUNNING).

A jeep pulls up and out comes a lady (Mrs. Voorhees) who seems to think its just your imagination. (I don’t think so). Turns out her son had drowned there and she blamed the counselors for his death. She came back the next summer and killed those two and tried to keep the camp from ever opening again. She truly wanted to keep other children from being hurt the way her Jason was, but she sorta went a little nuts in the process. I mean when u cant tell the difference anymore between scaring someone or ramming an arrow in their crotch or putting an axe in their face or an arrow through their throat its time to take a step back and look at your life.

Finally Alice and Mrs. Voorhees fight to the death and Alice lands her hands on the machete and lops off the head of psycho mom.

Alice gets in a canoe and pushes away from the shore into the darkness. (Bad Idea)

When daylight comes the sheriff shows up and Alice sits up in the canoe as the rotting Jason jumps from the water and pulls her under. She wakes up in the hospital and she is told the boy in the lake was only a dream. (or was it?)