Ten Things to Never Say to Shrek

Image via Wikipedia

Everyone loves Shrek. He is your mean, green, ogre machine. He can be very kind and benevolent. However, he also has a temper. Here are ten things that you should never say to Shrek:

1.   My swamp is bigger and nicer than your swamp.

2.   You sure put the ugh in ugly. Have you ever considered getting a total body and face makeover?

3.   I don’t think Slime toothpaste is really helping your teeth or your breath.

4.   Are you related to the Incredible Hulk?

5.   Are you related to the Jolly Green Giant?  Do you say Ho, Ho, Ho.

6.   Have you seen the Three Pigs Around?  I’d like to invite them to my pig roast.

7.   Can I borrow Donkey for a day? My son is having a birthday. We’d like to play the game Pin the Donkey. It’ll be a scream.

8.   How is Princess Fiona doing? Would you consider her posing for the Ogre Daily?

9.   Are you sure that you would not like to have a parfait for dessert? We’re adding some onion toppings.

10. Would you like to join our Weight Watcher’s club? You really need to trim some of the fat off your waist.

Image via Wikipedia