Water

The train was packed. Chuyia’s eyes widened as she looked around the crowd and listened to all the commotion she knew nothing about. She clutched Narayan’s arms with grief and desperation.

“My mother will come to take me away…My mother will come to take me away….My mother will come to take me away…” she whispered repeatedly.

With that thought tucked in her mind, she quickly fell into a deep sleep, knowing that she is finally free from renunciation and bad karma. She is finally free from the evil Madhumati.

It was in the early in the morning when the train stopped. The crowd woke up at once, trying to peak outside the tainted windows and looking for signs of familiarity. Narayan tried to push himself near the windows, and for what seems to be a millisecond, he caught a glimpse of an old man standing in the middle of a courtyard. With all the excitement and exhilaration going around, Narayan never thought twice about who the man was. He breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that they are finally safe and rescued.

“Ghandi! Ghandi!” he shouted.

Everyone started shouting and rejoicing. In unison, they shouted Ghandi’s name, threw their hands to the sky and thanked God. Chuyia, who was lying in the corner of the train, away from the crowded people, was dazed and wondering what was happening. People pushed and shoved, making their way out of the train. Narayan hurried to get young Chuyia, but she refused to go outside.

“What is this talk about Ghandi?” she asked. “Who is he?”

“This is the movement! Chuyia, we’re safe! We’re away from home!” Narayan replied, full of energy and delight.

“I want to go home! I want to go home!” Chuyia cried. Tears fell down her tiny cheeks. “I don’t want to live here! I don’t want to be another widow!” she screamed.

Narayan saw the pain in her eyes. He could never imagine what she was going through. Emotionally, she was still weak and could not grasp what was happening. Narayan wondered if she could ever move forward and adapt to another new life. Her head lowered, as if she was ashamed of herself.

“Chuyia, you’re safe with me. I promise,” he explained.

“I want to go home! I want to go home! Take me home!”

Narayan grabbed her hand with desperation and force. He took her outside and there, they stood as Narayan looked around and discovered that they were finally in Calcutta. He looked up the sky and thought of Kalyani.

“I wanted to take you away. I wanted to take you here,” he whispered.

For the first time in weeks, Narayan smiled. He thought of how Kalyani would be so happy, knowing that Chuyia is free from all the emotional burdens and will not go through the same life that Kalyani lived and experienced. It was a new change and a new way to start over for the both of them.

“This is our new home, Chuyia,” he tried to explain, as he looked around the courtyard and saw their new beginning. The place wasn’t perfect, but they were isolated from the cities and towns. No one would be able to find them and take away the freedom that they have always longed for. In this isolated place, there is no caste system and regulations that will separate the higher classes from the lower ones. It was hard to explain to Chuyia the feeling of independence and liberation. All that he could think of was that they were safe from all corruption, poverty, prostitution and forbidden love.

“My mother will take me away!” Chuyia shouted. Chuyia started running away. She pushed everyone aside and ran as fast as she could. Although she was weak and her small body no longer had the energy to move forward, she still kept running. She kept running until she realized that she didn’t know where she was going and she didn’t know the way home. She looked down again and tried to comprehend what was happening. For now, she had no choice but to go back. She had no choice but to put her trust in Narayan. She had no choice but to accept that she might not be coming back home at all. Tears poured down her cheeks as she headed back to the courtyard. She walked slower than usual this time, still looking at the ground.

“Are you lost?” an enigmatic voice asked. Chuyia looked up and saw a dark, good looking person with black-brown eyes. It was Shakuntala. She handed her a small handkerchief and touched her small face.

“Chuyia, we’re safe now. Trust me when I say this,” she smiled.

“Madhumati told me she’s taking me home! Madhumati told me I was going to be safe! But they hurt me,” she cried.

“You can trust me Chuyia. I will never hurt you,”

“No! You all lied to me! Kalyani is dead because of all of you! I don’t want to be like Kalyani!” she screamed. Chuyia, once again, started running as fast as she could. However, this time, there was no stopping her.

“Chuyia, come back here! You can’t run away forever!” Shakuntala cried.

Chuyia didn’t listen. She pushed everyone aside and tried to find a way out. With each second, she kept turning and changing her mind. She knew nothing of the place and she couldn’t trust anyone anymore. Worst of all, she could no longer trust herself. She tried to adapt to a new life. She tried to trust in herself and her belief, but her she could no longer trust her own mind. Kalyani was dead and she had no family. But at the same time, knowing that she was alone, she couldn’t help but go back. This act of rebellion left everyone around her speechless. They were staring at her as all hell broke loose. She ran and ran until she stumbled upon an old man.

“Who are you running away from?” he asked.

Chuyia stopped for a second and thought of his question. She wasn’t running away. There was nothing to run away from. There was no place to run to. She was caught in between.

“I just want to go home,” she looked down and stared at her feet.

“What’s your name, young girl?” he asked.

“Chuyia,” she mumbled.

“Well, Chuyia, this is your home,” he answered with no hesitation. He looked down at her, but Chuyia refused to look back.

“I’m never coming back home, am I?” she asked.

“Sometimes you just can’t go home. It’s hard to explain, but I’m sure one day you’ll understand that you’re already home. This is the safest place you’ll ever be.”

The man was right. Chuyia didn’t understand what was happening. There was much talk about the movement, but she knew nothing about it. There was much talk about changing India but she saw no action being done. She was just an onlooker, trying to find beauty in a world so flawed. She didn’t know what was truly happening, but whatever it was, she had to put her trust into someone. She wanted to argue and keep on running away, but she swallowed all her words and anger. She was getting tired. She walked away and cleared the thoughts in her mind.

She found a river near the courtyard, sat down, and took it all in. She looked at her reflection and reached for the water. The river seemed to flow endlessly, giving a sense of life-source and purity to her world. For now, the river becomes her source of hope and faith, but no one really knows for sure when the waters will run dry.