The Reality of Fantasy

I just finished watching “Madea’s Family Reunion” on BET for the second time.

Something occurred to me as I watched Boris Kokjoe saunter across my television screen.  Why is it that the leading male love interest is always tall, muscular, and handsome?  I know, to get women into the movie theaters.  But somehow, this seems to send a mixed message.  Women are consistently told by relationship experts, psychologists, and books that when it comes to men and dating, our priorities are all screwed up.  We are admonished to push unrealistic expectations aside, to stop looking for the tall, handsome hunk, and give the hard-working, blue collar Dan a try.  But I never quite understood what was so wrong with wants; a few key things a woman desires in a man.  

For me, it has always been height.  I’ve dated men my height (5′9″), shorter, and taller (three men to be exact, that’s how scarce they are), and my desire still hasn’t changed.  (It’s funny, even short women love basketball frames, just look at Shaq and Shawnee).  I love being able to look up at a man with admiration, and whenever I’ve dated a shorter man, I felt as if I was settling.  

Tyler Perry doesn’t allow his female audience to settle.  We are presented with Boris Kodjoe, Shemar Moore, Rick Fox, and Lamman Rucker – pretty boys (I’m sorry) - but unrealistic images nonetheless of men who don’t exist in any of the communities I’ve lived in or worked in.  And they certainly aren’t roaming around single or unattached, and if they are, it ain’t for long (unless they have serious commitment issues).  The female radar is a high speed mechanism.  Men of that stature are snatched up before they earn their Bachelor’s Degree, finish basic training, or complete other endeavors of pursuit.   

Now, I’m not picking with Tyler Perry.  In fact, I admire him, and his body of work.  I realized he, and the entertainment industry as a whole, are about clockin’ dollars, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to share my thoughts on this topic with others who may have been thinking the same thing.  I’m also not complaining about seeing handsome men on the silver screen.  I just have to keep in mind that it’s all a fantasy.