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The Five Greatest Films of All Time
Only five films can be on the list of the five greatest films of all time. This list can never change. I truly feel sad for all you up and coming filmmakers trying to make the greatest film of all time. Sorry that is just not possible as the list of the five greatest films of all time has already been made. Here is that list. Just accept it.
Many films are made each year. Actors and production people put their hearts and souls into these films. These professionals with a love for cinema strive to make great films. The sad truth, for up and coming film professionals, is the greatest films have already been made. Five films stand out as being the greatest films of all time and no filmmaker will ever surpass them. The list of the five greatest films of all time may shock and anger you, however, I ask that you read it with an open mind and accept it. Acceptance of this list will make your life much easier as it will never change.
1 The Green Slime-1968
This film was a United States and Japanese collaboration with some ties to Italy. This mix with the addition of being made in the late 1960s gave it a mod psychedelic overtone and makes this ever so bright and shiny dark film the greatest film of all time. It is only because of genre discrimination by The Academy that Robert Horton, Richard Jaeckel, and Luciana Paluzzi were denied Oscar nomination consideration. Putting the icing on the cake in this film is the title song that is sung by a Tom Jones sound-alike, composer Charles Fox. I would venture to say that if the general public was not so offended by the general notion of slime, green or otherwise, that Charles Fox would have surpassed even Tom Jones on the top 40 charts of the day.
The Green Slime Trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0Fxt4LVUQg
3 How To Stuff a Wild Bikini-1965
So you are asking yourself and me “Why in the ever loving name of Eric Von Zipper is this film on the list of the five greatest films of all time?”. Hey, Frankie and Annette are in it! Have some respect! You now may ask “Who in the ever loving name of Lindsay Lohan are Frankie and Annette?”. Hey, have some respect! Awe, just watch the trailer.
How To Stuff a Wild Bikini Trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJvlvCy79W4
4 Paul Blart: Mall Cop-2009
Not since Dali and Buñeul’s Un Chien Andalou has a more surreal image graced the silver screen as that of chubby mall cop Paul Blart, played by Kevin James, riding his Segway PT through the shopping mall that he guards. However, what really makes this film great is that it came out before, and is not as uppity as, Observe and Report. Well it came out in January of 2009 and Observe and Report came out in April of 2009. To be fair to the film Observe and Report it may have had a chance to come out first had its star, Seth Rogen, not been such an acting showboater always trying to make more films than any other actor ever.
Image via Wikipedia
Cover of Observe and Report
Paul Blart: Mall Cop Trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnBgXGNaQ5k
5 Labor Pains- 2009
I have not actually watched this film. I just read the information about it on the program grid guide that my satellite provider provides to tell what shows are on. I saw that Lindsay Lohan was in this film and decided to include it as Ms. Lohan is getting a lot of publicity at the time of this list’s creation in July of 2010. Having the name Lindsay Lohan in the body of this article just may generate some views and since that is the only reason for the inclusion of this film on this list there is really no need to actually write about the film. If you would actually like to learn more about this film, which would be shocking if you did, you can google it or watch the film’s trailer below.
Labor Pains Trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNvvZ7Bi4es
For most of you this list will not even come close to your list of the top five greatest films of all time. This list is not actually my list of top five films. However, if this was my actual top five list of films would I be wrong in my assessment? If this list by some odd coincidence is the top five for someone reading this article would they be wrong in their assessment? The answer to both is a firm No! What films are the greatest is a subjective personal opinion. You are always going to hear this person or that express their opinion of what is the greatest film of all time. For some people a great film is what others would call a cheesy B-Movie, while to others a great film is what some would call boring self-absorbed Art House trash. To some a great film is devoid of cursing and nudity, while others are taking a count of how many breasts are shown to pass on to others who want to see them too.
Cover of Citizen Kane (Two-Disc Special Edition)
When it comes to a list of the greatest films of all time for some people the distant classics from Hollywood’s Golden Age would be the only candidates. In spite of all the films that have been made throughout the years there are still those that count a film such as Citizen Kane as the greatest film of all time. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. It is a good thing in that it shows respect for what has come before in cinema, and a bad thing in that this type of thinking can prematurely discount what is coming in the future as inferior. Ultimately the greatest film of all time is the one that you are enjoying while you are watching it.
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Very good films
These are all new movies to me except the number one. Thanks for your info and will check them out. -) liked it.
wow some really very old films.
Nice info.
ha ha ha.. very silly Mark, but also very true!
Way off in left field from what I thought I would see here. Good Job!
LOL- but you are right “greatest” of anything is subjective. To each there own. None of these would make my list. I would also add that sometimes it isn’t always what you enjoy that makes a movie great, but also what moves you. Schindler’s List, for example. It isn’t something I enjoyed watching, but it was something that moved me enough to include it in my top five movies of all time.
Nearly caught me out there…nice!
Citizen Kane was the best by far, interesting article.
cool list – Id add The Day After Tomorrow, National Treasure 1,2 and the Bourne Trilogy + many others..
just what you said, Accept it. cool list though friend.
that’s a good list, I liked Citizen Kane.
Citizen Kane is the only one I ever heard of but you reeled me in – well done
Haha this cracked me up. I take it you’re getting annoyed with the influx of “best films EVAR!” lists as well then? Doubly amused that some of the commenters here don’t seem to have noticed the point.