One of the main reasons I decided to start reviewing moives is because I go to the cinema a lot more than your average punter. This is due to the unlimited pass that I pay a monthly subscription fee for, and as a result I often go to see things that I otherwise wouldn’t bother with.
This has been a good thing, and a bad thing. I saw Quarantine by accident, as I went to see something else that turned out to not be on (damn the cinema and their incorrect showtimes). I liked Quarantine a lot (review will be posted soon).
I decided to go and see Push. Now, the trailers made it look like it was a brainless, action-filled turd of a movie, similar to recent movies such as Next and Jumper. Push turned out to be a brainless, action-starved turd of a movie.
There’s hardly any action in this. There’s two or three scenes tops. And this movie lasts for nearly two hours. That’s a hell of a lot of not very much going on. It’s so, so boring. It’s about these people with special powers, like the ability to see the future, to read minds, to PUSH things with their mind. So it’s like the Force I suppose. When I saw the trailer, and saw the hero PUSHING things around, and then the title, I couldn’t help but be reminded of all those Star Wars games where Force PUSH was a pretty handy power. But I digress. There’s a shady government organisation (hey that’s new!) that wants to use these people for their own gains. So far, so dull.
Well, you’d at the very least expect a nice big fancy effects laden finale after all that nothingness that you’ve been watching. Well, you do get people wandering around looking shifty, and causing men with guns to shoot the wrong people. From a special effects, big showy action movie point of view, that amounts to guys looking confused and turning around while pointing a gun. WOW!!! You also get a fight between two PUSHERS (or whatever the hell they are). You’d expect them to launch each other high into the air with each blow, but instead there’s a little CGI shockwave and they carry on as if nothing happened. MINDBLOWING!!! And then one of them tries to punch the other, but he uses his magical POWER of the PUSH to repel his blow. HOLY SHIT!!! And then there’s a bit of talking with this shifty woman the hero bedded earlier in the movie. And it sort of ends, and that’s about it.
There’s this word we use in Scotland. Pish. Pish is a versatile word. It literally means piss, and as well as being used in place of that (“I need a pish”, “I’m totally pished”), it’s also used to describe particularly bad things. Push is one of those particularly bad things. Yes, PUSH is PISH.