Just Another Day for David Lynch

He goes to work daily for a company that makes teddy bears.  His intentions and pursued abilities of the team would be promoting sales.  He sits alone all day at his desk receiving calls on time he’ll be home, complaints, crappy questions, and those fuckin’ telemarketers.  Well one day he decided he wanted to get out of it and become an owner of a local donut store.  He asks his wife if that’s a reasonable idea or just foolish.  She gives him a confrontational look and says “Dave go to work, nobody cares about donuts, they care about bears now go to work and quit stopping for fast food you’ll get fat.  Remember what the doctor said?

“Oh alright honey I’ll see around dinner” kisses his wife on the cheek and solmnley walks out the door.  After the door closes behind him he throws his brief case muttering out loud “fuckin’ bitch won’t let me do shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” and at that moment the briefcase hits the boy lives across the street from David and his wife. 

He enters his car and starts his usual route to work. However, at the intersection, he is greeted by traffic cops, whistling and waving like NBA referees. He drove up to the cop and asked what was the reason behind all this. “Just an hour ago, we had a streaking terrorist running through the place. We’re still cleaning up the mess. Until then, you’ll have to go elsewhere”. The cop then shooed him off with his hand, and the man drove on Hipster Lane, all the while thinking “what a ffffffffffffffffffffffffacinating person”.  The person he was eying was a young man that looked like garbage but good at the same time.  He wanted to change but he thought about the bitch of his wife that won’t let him do anything.  Then that was the moment he found start of his new life he said aloud with a smile on his face “I’ll murder me a bitch!”

One of the senior citizens come to the car with their hand on the holister containing pepper spray saying in a threating manner “excuse me?!”

Davids voice was lost and he tried to find it until he hits the hood of his car “I’m an actor you know for movies shows crap like that.”

The senior still has suspicion of David and nods waving him to drive on, Davids smiles and slowly continues on his journey to another cold spineless day at work.  He walks through the front door and runs to the elevator before another employee enters and screams to their face “FIRST!”  David then pushes the button to go to the top floor of the company and whistles the awful elevator music as he feels pumped for the day.  He gets off then rushes through a few doors to get to his office quicker than a bullet.  His secretary was a young woman that he wouldn’t dare to have anything to do with asked how he was doing David didn’t respond and closed the doubled doors to his office behind him he exhales deeply.

David got on to his computer and logged on to his email account. He saw the same old emails he saw everyday: work assignments, bear shipment notifications, but what’s this? A email flashed in his inbox. It was written in capital letters “YOU HAVE INHERITED HUNDREDS AND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS FROM NIGERIA!” He jumped out of his chair and danced for joy. He ran down the hall and gave his boss the biggest haymaker to his bosses face, since the Amish invented it and continued to run, set to get his Nigerian money.

But then the company was under fire to a few hoodlums that lived a few blocks away from the building.  They saw David and shot him for not making a care bear for their little sister.  Egad David woke up in his bed all sweaty next to his wife.  He laughs hysterically and then pulled out the gun on the side of the bed and shot the crappy portrait of him hanging over the vase in his room.  At that moment he realized life is good.