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Horror Movies: the things people always seem to forget
Since the people in horror movies always seem to miss the obvious, and then put themselves into terrible situations.
There are a few things people in horror movies always seem to miss, no matter how intelligent they are portrayed. I think that a lot more fictional people could be saved, just by easily remembering that the killer is just as mortal as we are, and goddamn it, general weapons are no match for ghosts!
1. If you hear strange noises in your home, grab a goddamn weapon before pursuing the noise. I cannot count how many times bimbo’s in movies forget to just grab, even an umbrella cane, for the sake of defending themselves. If you truly believed there was a person scrounging around your home, wouldn’t you rather be able to fend them off? In when a stranger calls she just wonders aimlessly with a phone freaking out, not thinking that perhaps a kitchen knife would do her justice. The girls from any slasher flick investigate the noise, with obvious terror on their faces, why not bring along a blunt object. From the look of most girls in movies such as those, it’s a wonder they can even walk, let alone fight off a dangerous perp
2. Splitting up is stupid. Even if the people in the movie are portrayed as unusual folk, they obviously must have seen some sort of film, involving the horror premise. In every cheesy film, the second people start to split up, they are more easily picked off. The other part of splitting up is that all the characters in the horror movie start acting more rash and less intelligently. Since the people in the movie are now freaked out,they start thinking every little noise is the killer, and that even the other people are maniacs. So, if one is ever locked in a house, remember to stay with the person next to you,
3. Call 911. This seems like such a simple rule, call the cops and allow them to come help you if you think your house is in danger, or you yourself. Do not wait for something atrocious to happen. Characters in horror movies never seem to remember that there are lovely civil workers, willing to come save them if they are in danger. Even if cops are un-callable, there is always neighbours, government offices, or strangers that may have helped if the characters looked legitimate enough. Cell phones dying, and wires being cut seems to be a very common occurrence, though if they live in a higher wage area, bicycles are easy ways to get around when cars have been broken on purpose. Bikes are the most underrated vehicle of all time.
4. Trying to trap the killer. Characters in movies never seem to realise that if someone is following them, it would be easy enough to soap the floors, or tie some string across the doors so people may trip. Killers are people to, and are able to be tripped. I think the spineless people in most slasher flicks could certainly learn a thing or two from home alone or the parent trap. I wonder sometimes if those children would be more adapt to deal with a crazed killer than the young, unintelligent adults that get typecast in slasher flicks. So, I guess another thing people in horror movies always forget, children, and ANY pop culture knowledge they have ever gained, some of the most important things to ever know.
