A look at how Disney princesses would fare in a relationship.
You either grew up watching these beautiful princesses or you watched them come out when animation had barely hit the entertainment industry. Either way, you loved these Disney Princesses, you just never told anyone. It’s a fact that every person must accept – these princesses are hot! Check out the countdown.
12. Snow White
She is the epitome of classic. She made her debut in the first full length animated film… well Snow White. However I find here style a little old for me maybe if she tanned a little bit and dyed her hair a different color than charcoal black I’d reconsider, but for now she is stuck at number 12.
This little girl is very curious, a very loveable attribute. However, the main issue is in the prior statement. She is a little girl, calling her anything more than a cute nice little blonde girl could get me some nice shiny cuffs and a bible for a lesson on moral decency. She is a little young for me; I wonder how long if she has grown up since she made her last film?
Wonderful girl who knows how to take charge and is a natural leader. Again, there seems to be an issue with age though. I think of Wendy as nothing more than a kid who wants to be a grown up, or seems like an overbearing “I’m more mature than you kind of girl” – Pretty much a turn off. Plus I want a girl who’s not going to fly off on me in the middle of the night with some guy dressed up in a green pajama suit and a bunch of boys who have just seen Bambi for the first time.
Have you ever said to yourself? “Man, I want a girl that could just beat the crap out of me if she wanted to.” Well, she got it. This girl has a lot to offer, her wisdom is off the charts and her beliefs are respectable. The lizard thing here would be the issue. Can anyone say privacy? That blasted lizard is all up in Mulan’s business; tell him to go find some other girl along the family lines to stalk.
This woman has it made. Beautiful, rich, tall, and blonde, with flocks of forest animals giving her that constant invitational feeling of nature, Perfect! The issue here would be longevity; I’m thinking my woman would be able to handle more than some enchanted prick on the finger before going down. Ya, I think that I’m definitely going to add that to my checklist. I don’t want to have to go through no dragon to get to her either, that’s a lot of effort. You feel me?
I find this girl to be totally awesome. Again beautiful blonde, with a fairy god mother to boot, plus she got them glass slippers. I wonder how much those would go for on eBay. She is the perfect diamond in the rough girl with a great personality. So why is she in the middle of the pack? This selection can be summed up using two words… Rat Infestation! Moving on.
Miss Independent, with that long brown hair. She has this charisma about her. Plus I’m just a sucker for brunettes so you’ll find that my top selections are mostly brunette, sorry to all the blondes, they seem to be more eye catching but I can’t trust them as much, plus there is that dumb blonde stereo type… anyway back to Meg, I can just see this girl making a deal behind my back that I would have to clean up. We can’t all be gods like Mr. Muscles. She also is too outgoing, I like the shy girls.
She definitely has one of the best bodies of the princesses and is also in the top two for least amount of clothing. I would have the time of my life with her pet tiger if I wasn’t scared to death that it would suddenly slash my throat and I would die a painful, bloody death. Her father is rich so that’s a plus and she is very beautiful and apparently a fast learner. She doesn’t quite rank as high however because her ability to take care of herself is limited to acting like she is in love with a guy and randomly kissing him while forgetting to take off her crown. Nobody makes out with a hat on… do they? She did have a trilogy though so snaps for Jasmine.
Finally a red head. This princess I think has the best face of all of them; its just so small and round and… well gorgeous. She also ranks the highest on the lack of clothing meter for all those perverts who care about that stuff. She is never afraid to follow her dreams. Sacrifice which is very important and a demonstration of that has already been made when she gave up her life in the sea for her true love. She can sing like none other too which makes being around while she is taking a shower that much nicer. Why not number one? Her best friend is a fish. I’m sorry that just really bothers me.
What a woman. Free-spirited, strong-willed, wise, and understanding, one can’t ask for a lot more. Beautiful, just beautiful, as well as having great athleticism and being at one with nature; she has it all. She also being Native American would make life lots easier, helping start up that casino I’ve always wanted to cheat everyone out on their money with and help her kids get into college. Let’s face it we screwed them over big time. She got plenty to offer which is why she makes the top three.
2. Jane Porter
This girl never ceases to amaze. She is very intellectual and patient, I mean try and teach Tarzan how to talk and act human. Stressful I’m sure. She is super pretty, brunette (again) and nice body. Her dad seems pretty cool and she has that awesome British heritage that is always so very sexy. Very compatible which slides her into the number two spot.
Finally the number one. Surprised? Probably, but if you knew me you wouldn’t be that surprised. She is beautiful and brunette, shy, intelligent, caring, everything a family guy like me could ask for. Therefore she is flipping hot! She loves to read which really is not my thing, but it’s definitely a turn on. I just like the passion. She’s not out to flaunt her stuff either which is why I gave Jasmine and Ariel the heave. Plus she has the guts and patience to deal with the Beast. She just got it all in my eyes. She has this one hands down.
So, the guys over at Disney have drawn up some pretty nice animations for us over the years however I don’t think this was the kind of image they were looking for. Oh well. I just care to look at things a little differently. How would you rank your top twelve?