The Forbidden Kingdom

Lets start with positives first, as I don’t want to be too harsh.

Positives

I liked most of the fighting scenes, those were pretty cool. Somewhat cheesy comebacks while they fight but you know, it happens. The story was pretty decent. It left room to expand and was very interesting. The title definitely got my attention, made my imagination start running. I also liked the beginning and the way end with Jason (nerd) fighting the gangsters (classic).

Negatives

The story definitely left room to expand, but it sure didn’t. I felt that the movie was far too rushed and that there could’ve been much more going on. The entire story was the kid waking up in China, meeting Jackie (drunken “god”) fighting idiots, getting the staff stolen, fighting idiots, Jackie “dieing”, 1v1 with idiot, and then the good guys win. Come on the title got my imagination to think that there was going to be some huge war between a bunch of nations, not 4 people somehow accomplishing the impossible feat of beating up 500000 soldiers. Speaking of 500,000 soldiers, whatever happened to the big all scary “jade army”. Where’d they disappear to? I saw like a line of maybe 50 soldiers? MAYBE. If that’s supposed to be an army then my toe rules Spain. Lets move on to the “monkey king”. The whole monkey king story was a total copy of old chinese literature. It was a childhood story that, probably, 95% non chinese americans didn’t know about. Not knowing about the story would make this movie seem pretty stupid. The all powerful monkey king gets trapped in stone… NO WAY! No one cares. The fact that the whole movie was done in chinese accents was pretty funny though. Oh and one more thing. I almost forgot about the most ridiculous fact of them all. Did you realize how Sparrow and Jason were complete eying each other throughout the entire movie. Every time they’re about to do something it gets interrupted. Then at the end when Sparrow dies she says “I….I….I…I thank you”. What…The…****. Do you honestly want me to believe that after this entire movie, after like 4 SCENES WHEN THEY EYEBALL EACH OTHER, AND 2 NEAR KISS SCENES THE DIRECTOR ENDS WITH JASON HOLDING SPARROW IN HIS ARMS WITH HER SAYING “I THANK YOU”. They are about 2 inches apart and she says “I thank you”. No. Fail. Epic fail. I feel bad for Jason already. Then at the way way end she comes “back to life” and she says “wow your so brave…” oh hang on to the edge of your seats everyone. She says “later”. No. Double fail. Double epic fail. Pathetic *sigh*

Overview (in a list):

This movie needed to expand MUCH MORE, like 60 minutes more.

The director needs to get a girl who’s not afraid to kiss Jason.

The actors need to figure out what to say and what not to say

There has got to be some kind of love scene, especially if your going to lead us so far to think something is going to happen.

I know I said this before but, SERIOUS CONSIDERATION OF LINE CHOICE.

A bit more realistic. Come on 4 people beating up an army? Even if the army was a fail.

That’s it for this movie. I rate a 2 out of 5 because Jackie was somewhat funny and the fights were cool.