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“GI Joe” Film Review: Out Now!
A review of action figure fave “GI Joe” – or “Team America” reinvisioned!
Given that “Team America” was a resounding joy, it’s no surprise that the inevitable remake was long overdue. No one expected it to be such a blast though.
Stephen Sommers (aka “The Mummy” Director) clearly has fun in one of the most action packed films to hit the screen this year; let’s hope he’s not taking it too seriously though.
As a spoof, “GI Joe” works brilliantly – even that guy from Scary Movie has a leading role. A chase through Paris, resulting in an unfathomable death count and ridiculous trail of destruction is lifted from Team America with almost precise detail. If you look closely enough you can even see the mime artist! However, once the action stops, what we are left with is the dumbest, most cliched, 10 year old American boy’s wet dream of a film – in fact it was probably written by one. Dialogue is appalling; the acting decidedly ropey. Christopher Ecclestone, an excellent actor, hams up the action in a ridiculously unnecessary Scottish accent and every action movie cliche is pulled out, including the angsty motorcycle ride at a funeral (see Top Gun), but the star of the movie has to be Snake Eyes. Given that we are subjected to a wealth of back story which can be seen coming a mile off, his has to be the best. An intense rivalry with one of the bad guys reveals nothing more than as a child this clearly black actor was in fact white!
If that wasn’t funny enough, prepare yourself for a robotic shark which the team just happen to carry around with them, a bad guy who aims an armed warhead full of metal-eating insects straight at a stone pillar (oh the terror!) and probably the worst Polar CGI since Bond.
However, the best thing about the film is the prospect of more. A “mouth watering” finale means that for the first time in a number of summers, finally there is a dumb summer blockbuster that deserves a sequel – it’s bound to be a hoot!
As a serious film, it’s an awful 1 star dud, as a tongue-in-cheek spoof, its a bloody masterpiece. Citizen Kane move over, Joe is ready to take you on!
